At the allotted time of 7.30 pm all members had taken their seats with the exception of two latecomers Mark & Del (the author of this blog). Our appearance 15 minutes late coincided with another round of 14 Cobras the theme of the evening being set.
Being late and one beer down I lost out on the spoof to have the honour of writing this blog.
On this particular evening, the restaurant was devoid of any life so much that if it hadn’t been for the MCC one would have to take the pulse of the rest of the diners; however, our very own Dr Dick kept his hands in his pockets even though there was a party celebrating a women’s 18th birthday, judging by the noise emanating from their group however, they could easily have been celebrating her 81st birthday!.
At about 10 pm and in true gentlemen and MCC fashion a raucous version of Happy Birthday was entered into, which seemed to go amiss with the birthday group but we wished them well on their early night.
In the intervening hours, the usual tests and food conversations had taken place, the Cobras were chilled, the pappadum scored well as did the accompanying condiments and given the not so busy evening all dishes arrived on time and were plentiful.
For once James the gay builder was not the centre of the entertainment but a Fez, a present that Justin had purchased for our erstwhile group commandant Henry from his annual trip to Tunisia. This was not the Moroccan Tommy Cooper type with a tassel but of local design, intricately stitched with jewels and that was just Justin’s. Henry’s was black, sequined and very fitting. I can see all members wearing MCC coloured Fezzes from now on.
NB. Author make note to speak to MCC stylist Justin
It was agreed that to help increase the Christmas fund we should all try and guess the cost in dinars of this said present. This obviously made Justin very nervous on a number of fronts. Firstly he wasn’t sure of the Tunisian currency or the exchange rate and secondly but more importantly he couldn’t remember the actual price as he later confessed that it was on special offer as a BOGOF.
Much hilarity ensued and the winner who guessed that it cost the princely sum of £2.50 (5 dinars) was newbie Darren who under no duress kindly donated his 50p winnings to the pot; this group knows no bounds to their generosity.
And now for the main reason for the gathering; the restaurant and food.
It has to be said that I am still wondering how the K2 managed second place, on 82 points given its lack of atmosphere, not the most inspiring décor, the conveniences were shoddy but easy to find, and the traditional music only really kicked in when it was time to pay.
On the plus side; the service and general demeanour of the staff was very good, well they weren’t busy and the small number of customers that were there didn’t keep them over exercised. Their ability to offer after dinner drinks and mints without hesitation and generous sized coffees be they liquor or espresso may have had something to do with them scoring highly. The clincher was the bill at £32 each, the total which interestingly the ‘acting’ headteacher, come geography and maths specialist David Pinard guessed correctly without the aid of a calculator, mobile phone or an abacus. They say that teachers and the education system is improving, DP is living proof
The starters were generally okay, except my mixed tandoori grill: the chicken pieces were cold and when pointed out to the manager he said, no wait for it” of course it is cold, it’s salad” a Groucho Marx born everyday hey.
I knew from that moment onwards that the night was going to be a long drawn out affair.
Overall the food was deemed to be okay nothing great, for once the majority ordered desserts and not just Chris and Mark our resident sweet teeth. Typical list of ice cream served in plastic coconuts, but very enjoyable nonetheless.
On the way out some of the younger members decided to mount the silver elephant on display posing for pictures that no doubt will be on youtube very soon.
On a final but personal note on this occasion and in particular the morning after, I was served notice by my family to disband any idea that I harboured of building an en suite: as best described by my daughter who awoke very early claiming that the stench wafting around the house caused her to wake up in panic thinking the drains had been dug up.
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Pokemon Cards for sale
If you need a new pokemon card for your children, please visit this website http://pokemoncardmaker.org/no/58875/mango-chutney-club
MCC 4th September Blue Asia
The eagerly awaited return to the job of curry accreditation began with members gathering outside Kennsington Domestics to board the clubs mini-bus supplied and driven by Geoff. Henry had asked me to bring the banners from the carnival and the transport was quickly adorned with the
The mini-bus, looking resplendent in the clubs colours, whisked us at the spleen crushing speed of 25mph to the restaurant in Ringles Cross. The staff greeted Henry with a heart warming indifferent demeanour that even the most beer raddled stag party would find unwelcoming. It went from bad to worse when the staff were informed that although they had laid 16 place settings, there would in fact be 17 of us dinning. This appeared to almost impossible to cater for even though we were happy for the seat to be at the end of the table.
Eventually we were seated and the waiter arrived to take our order for drinks and refused that 15 of us would like 15 Cobras, one each. Matt and Chris were going to arrive later. After a little negotiation we were served with the beer and some popadoms and at last the evening had begun. We toasted the Club and carried out the popadom test although the popadoms appeared to be a little thin on the ground. The waiter arrived back at the table and we ordered another 12 cobras which he did believe we wanted. Mel by this time was struggling with the lack of beer and was starting to get a little bit punchy.
It was getting late and we were all still sober, it was not looking good. Henry diffused the situation with a game of Heads and Tails. Again the staff appeared and begrudgingly started to take our order for the food. Amazingly only the orders for the starters were taken. This was going to be a long night.
When the food eventually arrived it wasn’t bad but the attitude of the staff had had lost any goodwill we had. We ordered main course and waited. The beer flowed like glue, warm glue. We spoofed for the honour of writing this report and obviously I won. The main course was served and again the food was OK.
The scoring was going to be a painful affair. It didn’t disappoint. The members were not a happy bunch. The scores were called out for all the categories and there were far too many 1s and 2s. Henrys great mathematical brain lurched into action and churned out the result. The result was in the fifties and was only that high because the food was OK. It was crap.
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Sonar Gaon, Wadhurst - Last Night a DJ Saved My Life!
MCC 17th July 2009
As the bolt went back on the front door of the Sonar Gaon at 6pm, Christos was first in and settled in for the duration. Always a man for some “early doors” Popadoms, Christos took his seat.
With the MCC Sunshine Bus without a driver, a motly crew of waistcoat clad officianados descended on Wadhurst, the first wave ready to apply their knowledge and accrued thirst to a rather under prepared restaurant, expecting 12 midgets instead of 14 consenting adults.
The second wave was headed by the chairman of the MCC, who questioned the seating arrangement before him. Not the table set for 10, when booked for 18, but the huddle of testosterone sitting so closely to the “gay builder”, when the other half of the table was empty. I can only presume he was telling the story of his lost virginity and was not keen to air the gory details with other diners!
It was wasn’t long before the 14 Members were squeezed in (not into James, I hasten to add), but wedged in like 12 Cobras in a shoulder bag!
A quiet word into the Maitre D’s ear and the MCC were on the move, into the bowels of the restaurant. The restaurant could well be described as Anne Hathaway meets the Taj Mahal (thanks to Dr R for that one).
A certain highlight was the appearance of our first celebrity guest in the form of Radio DJ Nigel Ansell, the anchorman of Sovereign FM and Arrow FM. He definitely added to the occasion which I thought summed up the whole meaning of the MCC with a lively and entertaining evening from beginning to end.
Again, for the second month in a row the game of Stoolf was not won ,so all monies went into the Christmas Fund, which now stands circa £120.
The challenge bestowed upon our members for July was to come up with a Curry based chart topper and it was surprising how many of the same songs came up. “Popadom Preach” by Madonna,” Ring of Fire” by Jonny Cash and Korma Camillion by Curry Club. A good effort all round, but special thanks must go to Justin for producing the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody (Curry Version).
From this point on, the evening gathered pace and blurriness.
Thanks to all who attended, a great night and the Sonar Gaon goes straight into the top three.
Enjoy your Summer break. Back to action first Friday in September.
We Curry No Favour
As the bolt went back on the front door of the Sonar Gaon at 6pm, Christos was first in and settled in for the duration. Always a man for some “early doors” Popadoms, Christos took his seat.
With the MCC Sunshine Bus without a driver, a motly crew of waistcoat clad officianados descended on Wadhurst, the first wave ready to apply their knowledge and accrued thirst to a rather under prepared restaurant, expecting 12 midgets instead of 14 consenting adults.
The second wave was headed by the chairman of the MCC, who questioned the seating arrangement before him. Not the table set for 10, when booked for 18, but the huddle of testosterone sitting so closely to the “gay builder”, when the other half of the table was empty. I can only presume he was telling the story of his lost virginity and was not keen to air the gory details with other diners!
It was wasn’t long before the 14 Members were squeezed in (not into James, I hasten to add), but wedged in like 12 Cobras in a shoulder bag!
A quiet word into the Maitre D’s ear and the MCC were on the move, into the bowels of the restaurant. The restaurant could well be described as Anne Hathaway meets the Taj Mahal (thanks to Dr R for that one).
A certain highlight was the appearance of our first celebrity guest in the form of Radio DJ Nigel Ansell, the anchorman of Sovereign FM and Arrow FM. He definitely added to the occasion which I thought summed up the whole meaning of the MCC with a lively and entertaining evening from beginning to end.
Again, for the second month in a row the game of Stoolf was not won ,so all monies went into the Christmas Fund, which now stands circa £120.
The challenge bestowed upon our members for July was to come up with a Curry based chart topper and it was surprising how many of the same songs came up. “Popadom Preach” by Madonna,” Ring of Fire” by Jonny Cash and Korma Camillion by Curry Club. A good effort all round, but special thanks must go to Justin for producing the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody (Curry Version).
From this point on, the evening gathered pace and blurriness.
Thanks to all who attended, a great night and the Sonar Gaon goes straight into the top three.
Enjoy your Summer break. Back to action first Friday in September.
We Curry No Favour
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Sunday, 12 July 2009
Nationally recognised DJ
Our next visit will see the first celebrity join us. After our leader's threat of bring the first celebrity reader's wife along, Daryl is certain that a nationally recognised DJ will be with us.
The only problem is that he hasn't told anyone that it is a nationally recognised DJ from Albania visiting for the week. The Drive-time show consists of multiple pile-ups of bicycles and rush hour information when both cars are on the road!
The only problem is that he hasn't told anyone that it is a nationally recognised DJ from Albania visiting for the week. The Drive-time show consists of multiple pile-ups of bicycles and rush hour information when both cars are on the road!
MCC FC
This much anticipated event finally happened on Tuesday 7 July 2009. Everyone warmed up appropriately for the event including one member spending all afternoon watching Aussie ladies in bikinis!
You could tell within the first 10 seconds how skilful everyone is. However, after this time you could tell how unfit everyone is as well!
In true footballing style we had spectators and substitutions. We are still not certain that Del really had to go anywhere and was 'bottling out'; we shall see next week.
Everyone committed themselves wholeheartedly to the evening with one member attending A&E the next day. Of course, when everyone signed up for the football we forgot that the ball might hit a foot - as is the gay builder's excuse for being so injured!
This week he believes that he will be fit enough to be referee or even a spectator. If anyone has a motorised vehicle for him, I am sure that he will be able to last the 60 minutes!
Final Score: 8 overweight and unfit men aching and groaning, 1 hospitalisation, 1 part-timer bunking off after 5 minutes, 2 MCC members looking tired but not one step away from a heart attack and 1 teenager just breaking into a sweat and ready for a proper game.
You could tell within the first 10 seconds how skilful everyone is. However, after this time you could tell how unfit everyone is as well!
In true footballing style we had spectators and substitutions. We are still not certain that Del really had to go anywhere and was 'bottling out'; we shall see next week.
Everyone committed themselves wholeheartedly to the evening with one member attending A&E the next day. Of course, when everyone signed up for the football we forgot that the ball might hit a foot - as is the gay builder's excuse for being so injured!
This week he believes that he will be fit enough to be referee or even a spectator. If anyone has a motorised vehicle for him, I am sure that he will be able to last the 60 minutes!
Final Score: 8 overweight and unfit men aching and groaning, 1 hospitalisation, 1 part-timer bunking off after 5 minutes, 2 MCC members looking tired but not one step away from a heart attack and 1 teenager just breaking into a sweat and ready for a proper game.
Report from Mel's Secretary
The 5th meeting of the MCC was held at the Dine Asia in Nutley. This was the first meeting when transport was provided for some of the members. The have not’s met at the fire station for the road trip to Nutley. Whilst the have’s made their way by air conditioned transport. As some of the members arrived at the bus it was noticed that not all were wearing the MCC uniform and that it was carried in a plastic bag and not put on until within the safety of the bus. Is there a rule within the MCC handbook, which allows such actions? The mini bus was expertly driven by the MCC in-house plumber. We were quick to point out to him that there was a new speed camera on route and we did not want to tarnish the good name of the MCC with any form of police notices. The driver said that there would be no chance that the bus would be able to exceed the speed limit and that if a picture were to be taken that the date on the photo would be different for the front and back of the bus.
Whilst stopped at traffic lights outside a pub some young ladies sitting in the pub became more than interested in the bus and the MCC members within it (we think that the uniform caught their eyes). Their attention seemed to be drawn towards one member in particular that was about to abort the bus in favour of a drink. But luckily just at that point the lights turned green and we were off. (Name withheld - what happens on tour stays on tour).
On arrival at Dine Asia the Cobras were very quick to arrive and just the right temperature. The bar area was nicely decorated with good quality furniture which some members commented would look good in their houses. Unfortunately it was some time before we were shown to our table and the gay builder was heard to say that he was desperate (we think that he was desperate for food). It would have been nice to have had some papadoms whist we were waiting.
When we were shown to the table the waiter and waitress placed napkins on our laps. Depending which side of the table you were sitting this was performed by either a waiter or waitress. Some people complained others were very pleased that they had come.
Dine Asia also cooks Thai food and the MCC member acting head master was seriously considering breaking the rules and ordering a starter from the Thai menu. It was pointed out that if he continued with this cause of action that he would immediately be stripped of his uniform and dismembered (membership withdrawn not bodily dismemberment, but who knows) after a further 1 second of thought the page was turned to the curry section. We believe that this rather unruly behaviour from one of the most upstanding pillars of our community was mainly caused to the Ofsted visit that had taken place the previous week. Two of the MCC have been commissioned by the head master to pay a visit to the home of one of the Ofsted inspectors and if there are any other members interested in taking up the fight please make yourself known to the headmaster, (acting).
The food was marked high by some members, and low by others. It seemed to depend on what dish you chose. They seem to struggle with special rice as this arrived a full 10 minutes after the main dishes. A lot of the starters were over-cooked especially the king prawns.
This was the first time that the ring refused to penetrate the papadom in the papadometer test. Is this good or bad? We even tried two different papadoms there was just no way through the plain one. The spicy one was fine.
There was a significant increase in the value of the Christmas fund this month. Due to fines. Firstly as no report on last month's outing was provided it was agreed that there should be a fine imposed. This was duly paid. Later in the evening it was announced that no official certificate had been produced, to be presented at the end of the night. There were various excuses and reasons put forward for this, but at the end of it all, it was agreed that this was a failing by Justin and the penalty was again financial, and he was to match the previous fine paid. Del was this month’s winner of the heads and tails competition (but he was seen to have a hand on this head and his behind, but at least it was his own, James). He was made to feel guilty and he also put his winnings towards a charity, I mean the Christmas fund. Well-done Del.
There was no winner of the stools competition with the prize money rolling over to a future competition.
Our resident Doctor notified us of the England under 21 European semi final half time score, 3-0. Imagine our surprise to find out that we only won on penalties. This got us thinking about how we could all still play a bit and the MCC FC was formed. The discussion around this was left until quite late in the evening and maybe the cobras were talking when some of us agreed to take part. We will see. Tuesday 7.30 at the leisure centre.
The complementary drinks this month were sambukas most of which were alight - and most of which were drunk by the same person! The problem was that these were set on fire in the kitchen some way from our table by the time the drinks arrived the flames had made the rim of the glass very hot. One of the MCC put the flame out with his hand on top of the glass and burnt a circle on it. Is there a Dr in the house, oh it was the Dr.
I think it is fair to say that until the marks for fiscal prudence came up that Dine Asia would have been in first place. However they let themselves down in this area and sit in 2nd place in the MCC hall of fame.
Whilst stopped at traffic lights outside a pub some young ladies sitting in the pub became more than interested in the bus and the MCC members within it (we think that the uniform caught their eyes). Their attention seemed to be drawn towards one member in particular that was about to abort the bus in favour of a drink. But luckily just at that point the lights turned green and we were off. (Name withheld - what happens on tour stays on tour).
On arrival at Dine Asia the Cobras were very quick to arrive and just the right temperature. The bar area was nicely decorated with good quality furniture which some members commented would look good in their houses. Unfortunately it was some time before we were shown to our table and the gay builder was heard to say that he was desperate (we think that he was desperate for food). It would have been nice to have had some papadoms whist we were waiting.
When we were shown to the table the waiter and waitress placed napkins on our laps. Depending which side of the table you were sitting this was performed by either a waiter or waitress. Some people complained others were very pleased that they had come.
Dine Asia also cooks Thai food and the MCC member acting head master was seriously considering breaking the rules and ordering a starter from the Thai menu. It was pointed out that if he continued with this cause of action that he would immediately be stripped of his uniform and dismembered (membership withdrawn not bodily dismemberment, but who knows) after a further 1 second of thought the page was turned to the curry section. We believe that this rather unruly behaviour from one of the most upstanding pillars of our community was mainly caused to the Ofsted visit that had taken place the previous week. Two of the MCC have been commissioned by the head master to pay a visit to the home of one of the Ofsted inspectors and if there are any other members interested in taking up the fight please make yourself known to the headmaster, (acting).
The food was marked high by some members, and low by others. It seemed to depend on what dish you chose. They seem to struggle with special rice as this arrived a full 10 minutes after the main dishes. A lot of the starters were over-cooked especially the king prawns.
This was the first time that the ring refused to penetrate the papadom in the papadometer test. Is this good or bad? We even tried two different papadoms there was just no way through the plain one. The spicy one was fine.
There was a significant increase in the value of the Christmas fund this month. Due to fines. Firstly as no report on last month's outing was provided it was agreed that there should be a fine imposed. This was duly paid. Later in the evening it was announced that no official certificate had been produced, to be presented at the end of the night. There were various excuses and reasons put forward for this, but at the end of it all, it was agreed that this was a failing by Justin and the penalty was again financial, and he was to match the previous fine paid. Del was this month’s winner of the heads and tails competition (but he was seen to have a hand on this head and his behind, but at least it was his own, James). He was made to feel guilty and he also put his winnings towards a charity, I mean the Christmas fund. Well-done Del.
There was no winner of the stools competition with the prize money rolling over to a future competition.
Our resident Doctor notified us of the England under 21 European semi final half time score, 3-0. Imagine our surprise to find out that we only won on penalties. This got us thinking about how we could all still play a bit and the MCC FC was formed. The discussion around this was left until quite late in the evening and maybe the cobras were talking when some of us agreed to take part. We will see. Tuesday 7.30 at the leisure centre.
The complementary drinks this month were sambukas most of which were alight - and most of which were drunk by the same person! The problem was that these were set on fire in the kitchen some way from our table by the time the drinks arrived the flames had made the rim of the glass very hot. One of the MCC put the flame out with his hand on top of the glass and burnt a circle on it. Is there a Dr in the house, oh it was the Dr.
I think it is fair to say that until the marks for fiscal prudence came up that Dine Asia would have been in first place. However they let themselves down in this area and sit in 2nd place in the MCC hall of fame.
Sunday, 26 April 2009
The Promise was there!
Yes, the Eastern Promise lived up to its reputation and scored a massive 87 points - 20.5 points clear of its closest rival.
Are we becoming more generous with our scoring or is it really that much better?
Apart from not having any draught Cobra - personally I felt it was better in all departments.
The use of limericks to add to the entertainment was also a stroke of genius. However, I would ask that Henry sends the criteria of the structure of such poetry to everyone beforehand as, quite frankly, the rhyming structure and rhythmic flow was quite disappointing. Mel - could you let Henry know the details for your secretary as she wrote your attempt!
It is also quite disappointing to hear that another MCC has been set-up. I do believe that we can franchise the idea to others, but a continuation without general approval could result in a very messy court case or a visit from our gay builder - whichever is most threatening!
More details about the evening to follow. If anyone would like to become an author on this site please let me know.
Are we becoming more generous with our scoring or is it really that much better?
Apart from not having any draught Cobra - personally I felt it was better in all departments.
The use of limericks to add to the entertainment was also a stroke of genius. However, I would ask that Henry sends the criteria of the structure of such poetry to everyone beforehand as, quite frankly, the rhyming structure and rhythmic flow was quite disappointing. Mel - could you let Henry know the details for your secretary as she wrote your attempt!
It is also quite disappointing to hear that another MCC has been set-up. I do believe that we can franchise the idea to others, but a continuation without general approval could result in a very messy court case or a visit from our gay builder - whichever is most threatening!
More details about the evening to follow. If anyone would like to become an author on this site please let me know.
Sunday, 15 March 2009
Red Nose Day
Red Nose Day saw the second Mango Chutney Club outing of the year. We welcomed new members and got down to business. This time it was Kingfisher on draft, which may have lead to the poor attempt at the drinking from all members. Mel decided that to get close to his normal alcohol intake to have his food covered in brandy - what he didn't realise was that the restuarant would burn off the alcohol!!!!
Justin entertained the troops with his glasses and uses for the Rajdutt ball. His attempt at disguise as an alien was less successful as no-one recognised the difference!
Justin did manage to find some XXL waistcoats. However, some of the members are looking towards the time of the XXXXXXXXXXXL waistcoats.
More news will follow soon including the breaking news of a recount due to spoilt ballot papers - although this has nothing to do with any bishops or shuffling Matt. This time, service was not included and should have been. We feel the total of 61.75 needs to be added to.
Justin entertained the troops with his glasses and uses for the Rajdutt ball. His attempt at disguise as an alien was less successful as no-one recognised the difference!
Justin did manage to find some XXL waistcoats. However, some of the members are looking towards the time of the XXXXXXXXXXXL waistcoats.
More news will follow soon including the breaking news of a recount due to spoilt ballot papers - although this has nothing to do with any bishops or shuffling Matt. This time, service was not included and should have been. We feel the total of 61.75 needs to be added to.
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
The Surprise!
These are the first photos of the inaugural meeting of the MCC. Our leader holds up the popadom showing the popadometer measurement of hole size. This follows strict scientific principles laid down by Dr Hadow and Professor Hobson.
The manager of the Curry Inn sports his tip for the evening - an MCC official waistcoat. Although he has lifelong membership of the MCC for his services to waiting (time-wise rather than bringing food!), he will not be joining us on future ventures.
The surprise, however, stems from the second picture. With all the empty beer glasses on the table. Why does Henry seem to have a full glass? Could he not keep up with the pace of the rest of us?
Sunday, 15 February 2009
The Mango Chutney Club Community
Please join the Mango Chutney Club's discussion group by following the following link http://groups.google.com/group/mango-chutney-club?hl=en-GB
The Regalia
What inspired Justin's decision to select the waistcoat and tie? Was it the fact that curry stains (or his other stains) would not show? Was it the thought that cat wee would only add to the experience? Or was he just, as usual, too drunk to relaise what he was doing?
We Curry No Favour
The whole concept of the Mango Chutney Club was conceived in Cafe Rasoi in late 2008. A small group of the founding members were surprised at the cloudy nature that they experienced within. Was this a one-off or the general atmospheric expectation of the venue?
At this stage, Demi-God Henry announced that a new decree had been set down demanding that a monthly census should follow to decide the best eatery in the Heathfield area.
It was very soon acknowledged that this venture was much bigger than just Heathfield (mainly due to the fact that Heathfield does not have enough Indian restaurants!
The dream was forming!
Another key factor in the creation of the club was the regalia. It just so happened that Justin had frequented many a dodgy retailer looking for certain clothing. On one such visit he viewed what is now the official waistcoat and tie. Taking one on approval, he presented it to many members (including his own!) and the legend began!
The dream came to fruition on Friday 13th February 2009 - Long may it continue.
At this stage, Demi-God Henry announced that a new decree had been set down demanding that a monthly census should follow to decide the best eatery in the Heathfield area.
It was very soon acknowledged that this venture was much bigger than just Heathfield (mainly due to the fact that Heathfield does not have enough Indian restaurants!
The dream was forming!
Another key factor in the creation of the club was the regalia. It just so happened that Justin had frequented many a dodgy retailer looking for certain clothing. On one such visit he viewed what is now the official waistcoat and tie. Taking one on approval, he presented it to many members (including his own!) and the legend began!
The dream came to fruition on Friday 13th February 2009 - Long may it continue.
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