Report from Mel's Secretary

The 5th meeting of the MCC was held at the Dine Asia in Nutley. This was the first meeting when transport was provided for some of the members. The have not’s met at the fire station for the road trip to Nutley. Whilst the have’s made their way by air conditioned transport. As some of the members arrived at the bus it was noticed that not all were wearing the MCC uniform and that it was carried in a plastic bag and not put on until within the safety of the bus. Is there a rule within the MCC handbook, which allows such actions? The mini bus was expertly driven by the MCC in-house plumber. We were quick to point out to him that there was a new speed camera on route and we did not want to tarnish the good name of the MCC with any form of police notices. The driver said that there would be no chance that the bus would be able to exceed the speed limit and that if a picture were to be taken that the date on the photo would be different for the front and back of the bus.

Whilst stopped at traffic lights outside a pub some young ladies sitting in the pub became more than interested in the bus and the MCC members within it (we think that the uniform caught their eyes). Their attention seemed to be drawn towards one member in particular that was about to abort the bus in favour of a drink. But luckily just at that point the lights turned green and we were off. (Name withheld - what happens on tour stays on tour).

On arrival at Dine Asia the Cobras were very quick to arrive and just the right temperature. The bar area was nicely decorated with good quality furniture which some members commented would look good in their houses. Unfortunately it was some time before we were shown to our table and the gay builder was heard to say that he was desperate (we think that he was desperate for food). It would have been nice to have had some papadoms whist we were waiting.

When we were shown to the table the waiter and waitress placed napkins on our laps. Depending which side of the table you were sitting this was performed by either a waiter or waitress. Some people complained others were very pleased that they had come.

Dine Asia also cooks Thai food and the MCC member acting head master was seriously considering breaking the rules and ordering a starter from the Thai menu. It was pointed out that if he continued with this cause of action that he would immediately be stripped of his uniform and dismembered (membership withdrawn not bodily dismemberment, but who knows) after a further 1 second of thought the page was turned to the curry section. We believe that this rather unruly behaviour from one of the most upstanding pillars of our community was mainly caused to the Ofsted visit that had taken place the previous week. Two of the MCC have been commissioned by the head master to pay a visit to the home of one of the Ofsted inspectors and if there are any other members interested in taking up the fight please make yourself known to the headmaster, (acting).

The food was marked high by some members, and low by others. It seemed to depend on what dish you chose. They seem to struggle with special rice as this arrived a full 10 minutes after the main dishes. A lot of the starters were over-cooked especially the king prawns.

This was the first time that the ring refused to penetrate the papadom in the papadometer test. Is this good or bad? We even tried two different papadoms there was just no way through the plain one. The spicy one was fine.

There was a significant increase in the value of the Christmas fund this month. Due to fines. Firstly as no report on last month's outing was provided it was agreed that there should be a fine imposed. This was duly paid. Later in the evening it was announced that no official certificate had been produced, to be presented at the end of the night. There were various excuses and reasons put forward for this, but at the end of it all, it was agreed that this was a failing by Justin and the penalty was again financial, and he was to match the previous fine paid. Del was this month’s winner of the heads and tails competition (but he was seen to have a hand on this head and his behind, but at least it was his own, James). He was made to feel guilty and he also put his winnings towards a charity, I mean the Christmas fund. Well-done Del.

There was no winner of the stools competition with the prize money rolling over to a future competition.

Our resident Doctor notified us of the England under 21 European semi final half time score, 3-0. Imagine our surprise to find out that we only won on penalties. This got us thinking about how we could all still play a bit and the MCC FC was formed. The discussion around this was left until quite late in the evening and maybe the cobras were talking when some of us agreed to take part. We will see. Tuesday 7.30 at the leisure centre.

The complementary drinks this month were sambukas most of which were alight - and most of which were drunk by the same person! The problem was that these were set on fire in the kitchen some way from our table by the time the drinks arrived the flames had made the rim of the glass very hot. One of the MCC put the flame out with his hand on top of the glass and burnt a circle on it. Is there a Dr in the house, oh it was the Dr.

I think it is fair to say that until the marks for fiscal prudence came up that Dine Asia would have been in first place. However they let themselves down in this area and sit in 2nd place in the MCC hall of fame.